EMQ » April–June 2022 » Volume 58 Issue 2
By Celeste Allen
Missionary couple Bill and Jane Smith have just suffered a major trauma. Bill* was abducted at gunpoint. He was eventually released, and their sending agency provided a debriefing to help them cope with the most immediate effects of their ordeal. However, they are still deeply shaken. They want to move forward but need time to consider next steps.
[memberonly folder=”Members, EMQ2YearFolder, EMQ1YearFolder, EMQLibraryInstitution”]Returning to the field right away isn’t even an option. Returning to their passport country is not only expensive but will leave them vulnerable to a storm of unhelpful questions and advice from concerned friends and family. What they really need is time and space to continue their spiritual and emotional recovery, a place where they can think, rest, pray, talk, or just be silent.
Aid worker Jill Jones* has been laboring in a developing country for eight years. She returns to her sending country every two years for partner development but hasn’t had a real break since she went to the field. She feels overwhelmed and so tired she’s concerned about making mistakes. She doesn’t need counseling or crisis care. She just needs someplace to get away and catch her breath.
What these workers need is hospitality.
Myriad counseling centers exist which specifically cater to Christian workers in crisis. There are significantly fewer places offering hospitality as a means of care. Yet isn’t that exactly what many missionaries need most: a safe place to rest and be refreshed?
The Genesis 18 account of Abraham hosting the three visitors may be the first biblical example of hospitality as member care. Abraham offers to these messengers of God: “Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way” (Genesis 18:4–5a). This is a classic example of hospitality.
But what exactly is hospitality? Is it only the offer of food and accommodation, or is there something deeper? And how does hospitality fit in the wider context of member care?
What Hospitality Is and Is Not
Dictionary.com defines hospitality as “the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers” or “the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.”[1] So, an elaborate dinner with haute cuisine, pristine tableware, and ornate decoration may make for a hostess with the mostest, but mac ’n’ cheese on a trestle table may more closely reflect the spirit of hospitality.
Hospitality is not a matter of putting on an impressive display. Rather, it’s about welcoming people into a space where they feel at ease. In the framework of Christian hospitality, that means a place where people can experience God’s love and welcome. Nathan LaGrange, executive director of Life Impact (a ministry whose focus is providing hospitality for Christian workers), says, “The driving factor of biblical hospitality is love for Christ. It’s out of love for Christ that I serve you.”[2]
One of the most important aspects of hospitality as member care is an environment in which people feel safe to be vulnerable. Jack T. and his wife provide debriefing for an international mission agency. A major facet of their care is hosting those they debrief in their home, often for a few days but at least for a meal. Jack says, “We try to create a space that will bless them and help them to relax and receive from God.”[3]
It is within this context of safety that God can begin to work in the heart and life of the guest. In his book, Reaching Out, Henri Nouwen says, “Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.”[4]
Yet hospitality is not exclusively about inviting people for a meal or a room. It’s an attitude of generosity, an open heart. In the parable of the good Samaritan, the Samaritan’s hospitality includes tending the wounded man’s injuries, giving him a lift, and then funding his recovery (Luke 10:30–37).
Hospitality encompasses all kinds of relational, life-on-life care. It might be expressed by meeting a missionary on home assignment at a cafe and listening with warmth and real attention to his stories, his concerns, his joys and griefs. Hospitality can be demonstrated by graciously helping visiting or returned missionaries to deal with the practicalities of life in their passport country – not just giving them a list of where to go and what to do but walking with them through the processes. It is in these aspects that hospitality meets member care. It’s the heart of welcome that allows the worker to feel cared for. True hospitality echoes God’s welcome for each of us.
Hospitality as Prevention
On a most basic level, resilience is what keeps missionaries on the field. Resilience allows missionaries to persevere and even thrive in the face of disappointments, ministry setbacks, disconnection from friends and family, and all manner of loss. A key to resilience is self-care. A missionary who cares for herself, body and soul, is a missionary who can stay the course.
Receiving hospitality is one aspect of that self-care. Missionaries notoriously work long, hard hours and live sacrificially. A place where they can go to be refreshed and gain a new perspective on their situation can make the difference between long-lasting, productive ministry and an early departure from the field or grim, exhausted labor.
Hospitality as Cure
While a common role of hospitality in member care is in the prevention of stress-related attrition, hospitality also plays a big part in allowing missionaries to face and deal with much larger issues.
Birgit Kranjc, of Vereinigte Deutsche Missionshilfe, is the host and counselor of the Fermata guest house in Italy. She finds that missionaries who come to stay for counseling need an atmosphere of warmth and welcome where, she says, “They know ‘I’m safe at this place. I can open up my heart.’”[5] It is in this place of safety that people can relax enough to hear from God and find His healing and wholeness.
Jack T. says, “Sometimes you spend a whole day with workers, talking about their journey and praying and thinking. Then you relax over a meal in the evening. You’re not trying, and the defenses are down. That’s when they say, ‘You know, I was just thinking about today …’ and something really deep – a hurt or a significant event or something they’re carrying – just comes out in that more relaxed context. You’d miss that in a meeting.”
Experiencing the spaciousness and grace of hospitality is healing for the battered soul. Sue H., along with her husband, serves in a hospitality ministry in Asia. Sue says, “For those who are recovering from trauma, a stable place where they can be a family, get practical support and a listening ear, are important.”[6]
LaGrange puts it differently: “It opens up my entire being to be loved by the person who has served me food, given me space, acted like they knew I was coming and were excited about it. Now my heart is open to receive the real nourishment that I need, even beyond the food and drink. Counselors are great at giving clinical therapy. But there’s a difference when, as they say in the Benedictine tradition, you’ve welcomed me ‘as Christ.’ Now all of a sudden, I’m wide open to you. The conversation is going to flow differently. ‘You’re thinking of me? You care for me that much? Okay, I’ll tell you everything.’ As we open the door in hospitality, others open their hearts to us.”
What Can Senders Do?
Unfortunately, without encouragement and assistance from their sending bodies, missionaries will rarely take advantage of opportunities to experience hospitality. Mission agencies and sending churches must intentionally create cultures that value their workers and thus promote self-care, including rest and refreshment. They must recognize hospitality as a legitimate aspect of member care. Most mission agencies do not have dedicated hospitality houses, but those that do must encourage their workers to avail themselves of their services.
Agencies that aren’t equipped to offer this type of ministry internally can research hospitality options both on and off the field and make the information available to their members. Churches can identify parishioners with the desire and gifting to offer hospitality to missionaries and then train and encourage them to open their homes and lives to visiting Christian workers.
Churches can also commit to funding their missionaries to receive regular care in hospitality venues. Mission agencies can create care funds to help underfunded missionaries take breaks at hospitality houses. Sue H. says, “With more of the global south joining the mission force, offering affordable member care, time to be away from their home without a huge hit to their pocketbook, is so valuable.”
Most importantly, mission agencies and churches must encourage missionaries to utilize hospitality centers, guest houses, and retreat centers as a means of remaining resilient in order to complete their part of God’s work.
Celeste Allen (celeste.allen@lifeimpact.care)is a writer, retreat leader, and the host of The Oaks Oasis, a hospitality house in Italy for people in Christian ministry. A native of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Celeste has been involved in international Christian work for more than thirty years, serving first in Asia, then in the United Kingdom, and now with Life Impact Ministries in Italy. Celeste’s passion is to help people connect with God.
*Name changed for security.
[1] “Hospitality,” Dictionary.com, https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hospitality.
[2] Nathan LaGrange (Executive Director, Life Impact Ministries), interview with author, November 2021.
[3] Jack T., interview with author, November 2021.
[4] Henri J. M. Nouwen, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life (New York: Image Books, 1986).
[5] Birgit Kranjc (Fermata guest house), interview with author, November 2021.
[6] Sue H. Correspondent, email message to author, November 17, 2021.
EMQ, Volume 58, Issue 2. Copyright © 2022 by Missio Nexus. All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced or copied in any form without written permission from Missio Nexus. Email: EMQ@MissioNexus.org.
