EMQ » April–June 2020 » Volume 56 Issue 2
By Sue Eenigenburg and Suzy Grumelot
Pasadena, CA: William Carey Publishing, 2019
163 pages
USD $14.99
Reviewed by Birgit Herppich, Affiliate Assistant Professor of Intercultural Studies, Fuller Theological Seminary, International Membership Department Coordinator WEC International.
The intriguing title Sacred Siblings promises a fresh perspective on relationships among married and single missionaries. The authors, one single and one married, have a combined thirty years of cross-cultural mission experience. Like them, I have seen many books on being single in missions and many for those who are married, but hardly any material on relationships among married and single people working together on teams (155). The book presents the findings of a survey conducted in 2017 along with highly insightful reflections and recommendations.
The goal of the survey was to “identify challenges facing married and single persons working in cross-cultural ministry teams and to discover factors that would enhance these team relationships” (157). Of the 289 respondents, 69.2 percent were women, 55 percent were married people, and of those who were single, 80 percent were women (xxxiv). The authors acknowledge that the survey is probably more valuable for North American sending agencies because 76.8 percent of those who completed the survey were North American (xxxvi). However, as a European single missionary for many years in a large international mission, I find the insights extremely pertinent.
Issues raised by married missionaries are grouped into themes labeled value (including equality, voicing opinions, and feedback), training, communication, relationships, and contentment. Issues raised by single missionaries included (often unfulfilled) expectations of finding community and practical help, being considered mature, and spending more time together when there is less family. Viewpoints and experiences of both groups are discussed, as well as significant differences between the perspectives of men and women.
The authors report the survey results, reflect, and include insights from other authors. Illustrations are plentiful, both from the authors’ experience and survey responses. Throughout the book, the need for open and clear communication is emphasized and recommendations for improvement are made. Each chapter concludes with “Good Ideas and Helpful Tools” and “Application Questions.”
Two fresh insights struck me in particular. A Biblical Theology of Singleness calls for a foundational change of mindset about the eternal place of the married and single life and its spiritual significance (xxvii-xxx). In the New Testament, God-dedicated singleness is highly elevated and points to the profound theological truth that the people of God grow not through procreation but through disciple making. This spiritual family will last while marriage is temporary. “Singles thus serve as tangible reminders to the larger church of its anticipated future inheritance in the new creation, and the real mission to which it is called!” (Danylak 2006, 20).
Secondly, the title is developed in a key chapter against prevalent preoccupations with sexual temptation that can lead single women to “feel that they are seen or treated as possible threats to their married teammates” (82). Rather, in the eternal family of God, we are first and foremost brothers and sisters. As such, we view and relate to each other as Sacred Siblings worthy of care, love, and help.
Other significant chapters discuss questions of contentment in each marital status and how the perceptions of women, singleness and family in missionaries’ host cultures can affect team relationships.
In sum, this is an extremely valuable resource for missionaries, teams, and mission organizations to grow in understanding, communication, and collaboration between single and married team members.
For Further Reading
Danylak, Barry N. 2010. Redeeming Singleness: How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life. Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
Edwards, Sue. 2008. Mixed Ministry: Working Together as Brothers and Sisters in an Oversexed Society. Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel.
