by Linda Wilson
You’ve been in church planting for twenty-one years and you’re still alive (and smiling) to talk about it?” I chuckled inside. “This is one informed mission’s chairman,” I thought. “I not only survived, I’m living my missionary dream come true.”
You’ve been in church planting for twenty-one years and you’re still alive (and smiling) to talk about it?” I chuckled inside. “This is one informed mission’s chairman,” I thought. “I not only survived, I’m living my missionary dream come true.”
Even though we are not experts, my husband and I recently became church planting coaches for about twenty-three missionary units. I am thrilled to be able to visit different fields and interact with women in ministry.
With higher missionary attrition, mission boards are realizing the importance of caring for their missionaries, including the women. In one study, inadequate pastoral care and supervision were responsible for eighty percent of all attrition (Taylor 1997). That’s preventable.
Although we have much accountability in our mission, never has a female mission representative with church planting experience visited us for our yearly debriefing. This is a need considering women make up fifty-one percent of our missionary family, and approximately two-thirds of the global missionary force (Kraft and Crossman 1999). Our mission is striving to equip the equippers, both male and female.
We visit and debrief with church planters on site. Fields request workshop topics for missionary and national church planters. I compiled a list of major concerns women (and some men) have, and use it as a springboard for conversation. These issues can be discussed on a one-to-one basis or used as an interactive workshop when debriefing with missionaries.
1. BUILDING EVANGELISTIC CONTACTS
Women are the largest unreached people group in the world (Zoba 2000). Women have creatively built bridges through language exchange, crafts, homework club, children’s club, community groups, exercise, visitation, drama, music, cooking and Bible study. While some women have numerous ministries, others are still searching for ways to contribute. Talking about their gifts, life stage and context stimulates fresh ideas.
As a young missionary mother, I combined my language-learning journey with my gifts. Initially, I used hospitality and invited my children’s teachers over for dinner every year. Some long-lasting friendships developed. Still focusing on my children’s school as my area of influence, I volunteered for class field trips and joined the Parents’ committee. As fluency developed, I was asked to substitute teach. Later I was invited to join the committee that represented parents’ educational concerns to the Ministry of Education. When my daughter came home crying one day because her teacher taught that Protestants were a cult, I was in a position to propose changes to the mandated curriculum. When I brought it before the committee, the government official promised he would look into it. One year later, I received a letter stating that the course content had been changed. Many children, parents, teachers and even bureaucrats were exposed to the gospel through the years.
2. ADJUSTING IDENTITY AND ROLES
Connection and relationships are vital for women. Until we are comfortable with the language and customs of our new culture, the inability to communicate affects our sense of belonging. Acculturation can have disturbing effects on our sense of self and requires identity and role adjustments.
Many women who had careers in the US are suddenly identified in relation to a family member. I became Gene’s wife, Michelle’s Mom or the pastor’s wife. In Haiti, you are called “Madame Tom” or “Madame Pasteur” (Mrs. Pastor) instead of being called by your own name. One resentful newcomer to the Philippines wrote: “I’m not just Richard’s wife and Jay’s mom. I want them to know ME! I had my own identity and business before!” Additionally, some wives of field leaders feel this role sets them apart from their colleagues.
Women wonder, “Am I a missionary or a missionary’s wife? Where do I fit in? What good am I here?”
Single women struggle with identity/role issues as well. In many countries, singleness is not valued as much as marriage and motherhood. In some cultures, it’s desirable to have a baby, even if it’s out of wedlock. And a married but barren woman is not as esteemed as a single mother. With all of these adjustments, it’s important to root our identity in Christ.
3. DEALING WITH LONELINESS AND/OR DISCOURAGEMENT
Loneliness is especially acute in the beginning of a woman’s missionary career. All our supports are stripped away, and we learn the painful but necessary lessons of trusting God alone. A young woman commented, “I think God cares more about working on me than he does saving the lost!” Sometimes husbands don’t realize how difficult loneliness is for their wives. Many women explain that because men are more task oriented, they are at a loss as to how to help their wives cope with the relational losses.
Journaling can be therapeutic and a vital means of support and growth. Journal writing can take on another twist as husbands and wives journal individually, then share their entries.
Church planters face discouragement when they don’t see enough fruit for their labor.
Much time is invested in someone, and then they move away. We must think we are not only building a local church, but also contributing to his universal church.
4. COUNSELING BELIEVERS
Many people need professional help, but for various reasons, they turn to the missionary for “free” help. The needs are so overwhelming that we could be full-time counselors.
But not all of us have the appropriate training or emotional stamina. Ongoing training and resources are necessary. After a serious bout with burn out, I learned to limit who I invest in and also the importance of caring for myself.
5. TRAINING LEADERS IN THE CHURCH
Lack of trained leaders is a problem in US churches, and is even more so in Third-world countries because of poverty and illiteracy. Many nationals quit school because they have to work. Resources are few and expensive. National leaders are gifted and passionate about ministry but have limited time to be trained or to train others. It may be inappropriate for men to train women, thus female trainers are needed.
Ingenious missionary women in Mexico teamed up with a national couple to reach and train children and women. The workers met weekly for prayer, Bible study and planning. They started a Kids’ Club where children and their mothers listened to Bible stories using a flannel graph. Then while the kids did crafts, memory verses and ate, the national worker led a Bible study for the mothers. The Kids’ Club has added workers and sponsored several community outreach events.
6. RAISING CHILDREN CROSS-CULTURALLY
As parents, we learn about our host culture with our children. In fact, sometimes they teach us more than we teach them. Missionary children have been termed “third culture kids” (Blomberg 2001; Pollock 1999) because they integrate the elements of both cultures into a third culture. When I asked my daughter which culture she identified with she said, “Neither. I’m a chameleon! I know how to be like either of the cultures depending on who I’m with.”
Parents have major concerns with their children’s education and spiritual training. We want to teach them how to live in any culture without compromising their biblical values. But in church planting, how do you accommodate Sunday school classes for the few children of varied ages when there’s also a lack of trained teachers? We had to find appropriate resources to enrich their instruction at home. We also joined with another family to car pool across town so our teenagers could attend a quality youth group in their language.
7. COPING WITH FINANCIAL DISPARITY AND EXPECTATIONS OF NATIONALS
In many countries, the average person earns a few dollars a day; therefore, people are looking for ways to earn money. Missionaries admit it’s hard to know how to help or how much to give. There’s also a tension between the desire to meet needs and the fear of creating dependency. We met nationals who became believers because missionaries hired them for services such as painting, cleaning and lawn care and developed relationships with them. Other missionaries bought shoes and books for children so they could attend school. A solution some church planters shared was to budget a monthly amount towards the needs.
8. DEVEOPING BOUNDARIES
Well-defined lines between home and “work” do not exist in church planting unless they are carved out, which is not easy. We tend to take on too many responsibilities and work long, irregular hours. Learning to establish clear, healthy boundaries is essential to a balanced lifestyle. For us, that meant getting the church office and phone out of our home. In addition, we focused on leadership development.
Certainly other issues such as female leadership roles, hospitality demands, marital stress, team building and health concerns can be discussed. Women continue to be the backbone of missionary endeavors. God cares about these servants. We need to provide them with resources, ongoing training, encouragement, appreciation and prayer.
References
Blomberg, Janet and David F. Brooks. eds. 2001. Fitted Pieces: A Guide for Parents Educating Children Overseas. St. Clair Shores, Mich.: Share Education Services.
Kraft, M. and M. Crossman.1999. “Women in Mission.” Aug. Mission Frontiers. 13-17.
Pollock, D.C. and R.E. Van Reken. 1999. The Third Culture Kid Experience. Yarmouth, Maine: Intercultural Press, Inc.
Taylor, W.D., ed. 1997. Too Valuable to Lose: Exploring the Causes and Cures of Missionary Attrition. Pasadena, Calif.: William Carey Library.
Zoba, W. 2000. “Trends in Missions: A Woman’s Place.” Christianity Today. Aug. 40-48.
—–
Linda Wilson and her husband, Gene, serve as Church Planting Coaches to Latin America with the Evangelical Free Church Mission. Linda holds a B.S. in Education from West Chester University, Pa., and a M.Ed. from McGill University, Montreal.
EMQ, Vol. 39, No. 3, pp. 362-366. Copyright © 2003 Evangelism and Missions Information Service (EMIS). All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced or copied in any form without written permission from EMIS.
